Sure, you’re a great listener — most women are. But when was the last time you raised your hand to share your own story? Last week? Last year? Or maybe, never?
The inability to express who you are, how you got here, and where you want to go can be a serious detriment to career advancement. It may be the reason you didn’t get the job of your dreams, were passed over for a promotion, or didn’t secure the loan for your new business venture. The good news is that effective storytelling is a skill that can be learned. Let’s take a closer look at the ancient art of storytelling or, in this case, an important subset of storytelling: the personal narrative.
At a recent women’s leadership event, a budding entrepreneur who was hosting the evening at her place of business, was on the program to “tell her story.” She owned a decorating company that had only been open for a few weeks. The property was filled with room after room of dazzling and dramatic décor. The attendees were eager to hear how the mother of five had accomplished this miracle in such a short time. “Carol” had actually been in business for five months at a previous location, but her landlord had unexpectedly given her one month to move out as he had found a renter willing to pay far more than her struggling new company could afford. Carol found a new location and, with the help of her mother and kids, packed up the entire store and over the course of a weekend relocated it three miles away.
Carol stood in front of the group and told us that she had been “lucky.” She simply seemed to have a “knack for decorating.” That was it. Story over. Clearly, the audience was expecting more, much more. Carol was the hero of her own story, and she didn’t even realize it.
Her first mistake? Not recognizing the power of her own story and how it could influence and inspire others. Her second mistake was one too many women (and men) make, which is to attribute credit or blame to external forces. Psychologists call this an external locus of control. People with this tendency say things like, “I was lucky,” “I was in the right place at the right time,” or “the boss didn’t like me,” “this company has always been unfair to women.” Carol had missed an opportunity to share her truly heroic and compelling story which would have set her apart and inspired others in the room
According to the Women in the Workplace 2023 Report by global management consulting firm McKinsey & Company, many women downplay their accomplishments by attributing their success to luck rather than skill, reinforcing a narrative that limits their professional growth
Like Carol, when women fail to recognize and share their achievements effectively, they miss valuable opportunities for advancement.
Dragseth, Ph.D., is the Baker Boy Professor of Leadership and the 2024 Dickinson State University Distinguished Professor of the Year. Her monthly column offers practical solutions to common workplace issues.